“Today, I will begin the process of letting go of all self-defeating feelings and beliefs connected to past relationships. I will clear my slate so I am free to love and be loved.” ~ Melody Beattie

Ideas from Melody Beattie’s The Language of Letting Go

One of the greatest gifts you can give is an open, loving heart. And holding on to negative feelings from past relationships is your greatest barrier to that gift. Most of you have had relationships that have ended. When you examine these relationships, you need to clear the emotional slate. Are you holding on to anger or resentments? Are you still feeling victimized? Are you living with the self-defeating beliefs that may be attached to these relationships? Let go of all that may be blocking your relationships today. With great certainty, you can know that old feelings and self-defeating beliefs will block you today from giving and getting the love you desire. You can clear the slate of the past. It begins with awareness, honesty, and openness. The process is complete when you reach a state of acceptance and peace toward all from you past.

Jen’s Thoughts

You can be happier in your life if you learn acceptance of negative energy and emotions from your past relationships, and letting go. Most of us carry “emotional baggage” from past relationships. This “emotional baggage” can influence how we interact in our current relationships. If you had been betrayed in a previous relationship, it can be difficult not to let that fear affect your current relationship; but it’s extremely important that you don’t: it will only cause pain and unnecessary conflict.

Start fresh! Throw that emotional baggage out!

It is not necessary to continue to harbor the emotions from past experience. Instead, keep only the wisdom you gained from the experience. Start your new relationship with a clean slate; accept it for what it is; new. Learn to recognize when your past is affecting your current thoughts and behavior. Then try to overcome the irrational thinking and view the current reality. By doing so both you and your partner can have fair chance at a bright future together, built on your new shared experience.

“Help me not judge or limit my future by my past. Help me be open to all the exciting possibilities for change, both within and around me.” ~ Melody Beattie

Ideas from Melody Beattie’s The Language of Letting Go

There is a new energy, a new feeling coming into your life. You cannot base your expectations about how you will feel tomorrow, or even a few hours from now, on how you feel at this moment. There are no two moments in time alike. You are healing you inner being. You are changing. Your life is changing. At times, things haven’t’ worked out the way you wanted. You had lesson to learn. The future shall not be like the past.

Sometimes, problems and feelings linger for a while. These times are temporary. Times of confusion, uncertainty, and times of living with a particular unsolved problem do not last forever. Each situation and circumstance has had its particular influence in shaping who you are. You do not have to scar yourself by comparing your present and future to a painful past. Know the discomfort will not be permanent. Do not try to figure out how you shall feel or when you shall feel differently. Instead, trust. Accept today, but do not be limited by it. Times are changing for the better. Continue on the path of trust. Be open to the new.

Jen’s Thoughts

It’s sometimes difficult to not let our past dictate the way we manage our present. If you were cheated on in a past relationship, you may fear that all your significant-others will cheat on you. This may cause you to be suspicious of their every move and over time, will push them away. Can you blame them, they didn’t cheat on you, yet you mistrust them as if they did. Perhaps, it’s time to let the negative feelings from the past go. You’ve learned your lesson and gained the knowledge. There is no reason to let that past situation control your emotions today.

“Today, help me let go of negative thoughts I may be having about my past circumstances or relationships. I can accept, with gratitude, all that has brought me to today.” ~ Melody Beattie

Ideas from Melody Beattie’s The Language of Letting Go

It is easy to be negative about past mistakes and unhappiness. But it is much more healing to look at yourself and your past in the light of experience, acceptance, and growth. Your past is a series of lessons that advance us to higher levels of living and loving. The relationships you entered, stayed in, or ended taught you necessary lessons. Some of you have emerged from the most painful circumstances with strong insights about who you are and what you want. Each step of the way, you learned. You went through exactly the experiences you needed to, to become who you are today. Each step of the way, you progressed.

Jen’s Thoughts

The past cannot be changed. You may not be proud of how you handled things when you reflect back. What matters is that you handled situations to the best of your capabilities at that time… no one could ask for more. Now, you have learned from that experience. When the situation comes around again, you can handle it differently because you now have the experience from you past and new knowledge. Accept the past; however it was, and move forward to make room for more wonderful experiences.

.
“Today I will pay attention to what I want and need. I will not discount myself.” ~ Melody Beattie

Ideas from Melody Beattie’s The Language of Letting Go

Part of taking responsibility for you means taking responsibility for what we want and need, and knowing that’s okay to do. Learning to tune-in to you, learning to listen to yourself, is an art. It takes practice. You can use your ability to guess what others want and need, and apply that skill to yourself. What does it sound like you might want and need? What would you guess would help you feel better? What are your feelings telling you? Your body? Your mind: Your intuition? If you ask, then listen closely; you will hear the answer. You are wiser than you think, and you can be trusted.

What you want and need counts. It is important, and it is valid. It’s okay to learn to participate in meeting your own needs. You can learn to identify what you want and need and be patent with yourself while you’re learning.

Jen’s Thoughts

Giving to others is a wonderful thing, until you give so much of yourself that you have nothing left for you. Perhaps it’s time to start putting focus on your own needs and desires: Stop giving everything you have, from within, to others.

I know what it’s like to give so much of yourself; and in the process lose yourself. In my past, I was living for others and didn’t including taking care of myself. After my life took a dramatic turn, I was shocked to realize I had no idea who I was: I had lost my self-identity. I realized that everything I thought I liked (music, activities, etc.) was linked to the things others had liked. To avoid any possible conflicts, over a span of 12 years, I slowly sacrificed pieces of myself until there was little left.

Today I am wiser. I am willing to face conflict and choose compromise, but I will no longer sacrifice… When there is a rare situation where a sacrifice may be called for, I am aware of what I am choosing to do and know that it is based on that one specific situation only.

Remember, you can enjoy what others like, and give to them freely (to a point). But it’s important that you don’t have sacrifice your needs and wants when you do it. Set boundaries for yourself and honor them; by doing so, you are honoring and respecting yourself.

“Help me become ready to let go of my resentments. Bring any resentments that are hidden within me, and blocking me, to the surface. Show me what I need to do to take care of myself by letting go of resentments, and then help me do that.” ~ Melody Beattie

Ideas from Melody Beattie’s The Language of Letting Go

Resentments are the blocks that hold you back from loving yourself and others. Resentments do not punish the other person; they punish you. They become barriers to feeling good and enjoying life. They prevent you from being in harmony with the world. Resentments are hardening chunks of anger. They loosen up and dissolve with forgiveness and letting go. Letting go of resentments doesn’t not mean you allow the other person to do anything to you that he or she wants. It means you accept what happened in the past and you set boundaries for the future. You can let go of resentments and still have boundaries!

Jen’s Thoughts

The past is behind you, and you cannot change it… it is where you came from, but does not determine where you have to go. Forgive yourself for decisions you may now regret; accept that you made the best decision you could with what knowledge you had at that time. Now, you’re more knowledgeable and can make healthier decisions. By holding on to resentment, you blame others for your actions; but by choosing to empower yourself now, you can let go of the past. You can choose to accept your past actions, learn from them, make better decisions now; then let go of the pain.